I’ve been spending a lot of time inside (as we all have this year) and doing a lot of internal reflection. The thing with having more time to yourself is that it opens the door for me to be with my mind a lot—which can both be great and not so great. Not too long ago, I shared over on my Instagram that I was really feeling the effects of Imposter Syndrome.
In case you don’t know, Imposter Syndrome, by Merriam-Webster definition, is the “false and sometimes crippling belief that one’s success is the product of luck or fraud rather than skill.”
In simpler terms, it means you feel like you’re faking it and you’re not doing as much as you could, and are not qualified to be doing what you’re doing.
I think so many of us feel this way, and the thing with Imposter Syndrome is that it comes and goes. Like, HEY WHAT’S UP, JK GOODBYE.
It doesn’t make ‘overcoming’ that feeling of doubt in yourself any easier because it comes in waves, or because it’s normal to feel so. Hence, I wanted to share my experience with imposter syndrome, and what steps have helped me when I’m feeling those bouts of doubt.
Despite the title, I don’t think there really is a way to fully overcome imposter syndrome. Especially with social media and comparing yourself to others, it’s hard and unlikely that it’s one and done. THAT SAID, who’s to say we can’t take it by the horns and decide for ourselves how we decide to feel in that moment.
Use these 3 powerful steps to overcome/manage Imposter Syndrome:
I guess it would be best to outline some of the feelings that come about when I get Imposter Syndrome:
Feeling like a fraud or I don’t deserve the success I’ve worked for
Even when you accomplished something big, you still feel like this can’t be true and you faked your way here. You may have gotten the job, nailed the project or were asked to speak as an expert but you sure don’t feel that way. When my blog started to grow, I continued to balance my 9-5 with it and I constantly felt like a fraud for being able to do both.
You don’t know how to value your worth
When I first started my blog, especially in the first couple of years when I started making money off of it, I’d get approached for partnerships from brands looking to work together. I struggled with deciding whether or not I could suggest a certain price because I thought, “is my content really that good? I should probably ask for less because they won’t want to pay me THAT MUCH for just a few posts.” LIES.
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You minimize your experience and knowledge
Guilty of this one as well. OMGOODNESS, when I was younger, I always equated accepting compliments as being rude or arrogant. This is simply NOT true, and god knows how I started feeling like that. Accept compliments and take pride in your work and yourself.
Create Positive Affirmations That Work For You!
Make a list of 3 positive affirmations that you can say to yourself in the mirror as part of your morning routine. It can be as simple as “I am strong, beautiful and capable.”
Or you could try making a list of 3 things you are good at or like about yourself, such as “ I am hardworking, reliable and generous.”
Studies show that when you say these positive thoughts and affirmations to yourself, you actually start to believe them. It’s easy to forget, so you can try to keep a sticky note on the mirror to read it every morning as you’re getting ready. It’s a great first step in the morning to overcome imposter syndrome.
Be Honest and Talk About It With Your People.
Likely you aren’t the only one feeling these thoughts of anxiety and self-doubt. Especially with the pandemic, it can be really easy to get in your own thoughts and start to believe this negative self-talk.
Take the time, even if it’s virtual to talk to someone about your feelings.
Share your anxieties and say them out loud!
Connecting with your support system is so important when you start to feel like you don’t deserve what you’ve accomplished. By speaking up, you’ll put into perspective what your thoughts sound like and give you a chance to see everything you’ve done.
The great thing with social media and the power of the internet, you can build your support system from anywhere. Talking about things help greatly, so I try my best to share my feelings as much as I can.
Take an Emotional Day Off and Journal
Instead of focusing on the things you feel that you aren’t good at, that time is much better spent to focus on the strengths and talents you do have!
A key moment is accepting that you’re having a bad day.
I do my best to listen to my body and my mind. It’s important to FEEL those feelings and know that it’s normal. Give yourself the space to feel those moments. And then, let it go.
When you feel better, take the time to reflect on the talents you do have!
I enjoy putting these thoughts down on paper. It gets really overwhelming in my head at times and so putting thoughts on paper allows the mental capacity to breathe. It also helps a ton to manage your personal expectations on yourself. Visually seeing your thoughts does tremendous things towards feeling better. I find that it helps me understand what’s going on much clearer as well.
To add to that, I enjoy making a day of self care.
Self-care looks different for everyone. For me, I like to go on walks, to spend a chunk of time on my skincare routine, take a bath, and watch some good shows on the telly or read. I also take the time to unplug from social media too to give my mind a break.
You can find my Self Care Checklist Here:
Treat yourself to a special coffee or pastry when you nail your next presentation. Even little steps and silly things like hi-fiving yourself can shift your mindset into cheering yourself on.
I think of confidence as a muscle- something like creativity. Like any muscle in the body, you need to train and nurture it. If you leave it untouched for a long time, it gets rusty.
Because of this, I take the time to build my self-worth. I am worth this special time I carve out for myself. The more time you take to get to know yourself, the better you can work to create systems and solutions to help you overcome imposter syndrome.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome is definitely not easy and this list isn’t a sure-fire way to stop those negative feelings. Some days you’ll feel on top of the world and other days you just want to curl into a blanket burrito and be sad.
But, it’s still important to be able to identify these feelings, accept them, and then take the steps to take control of how you feel.
If you are feeling down and need someone to chat with, my DMs are always open!
We can all use a little support these days.
Till next time,